5.27.2011

The serious side of pillow talk

I’m actually not talking about the sexy pillow talk – but the quiet, whispered nightly discussions that the Mountain Man and I have over the nursing, gently squirming body between us.

We talk about our day or about our plans for the weekend, about whether we should buy a house or a new car or neither or both or one before the other. We talk about how we used to get to lay in bed and snuggle and read, and how funny it is that now we whisper in the dark in an attempt to connect and to keep the Pie asleep.

I have the bad habit of jumping on my computer for uninterrupted blogging time after dinner while the Mountain Man plays with the Pie, which means I only half pay attention to them. I am excited for my opportunity to sit at my computer without the Pie screeching for attention and the ensuing guilt. I tell you this only because this bad habit cuts into our time to be with each other, making the pillow talk so much more critical. Some night we don’t get our pillow talk, and then the whole night and the next day feel a little off.

It’s our only “baby free” time – the Pie is still there, still between us and wriggling, but she’s contentedly nursing, not requiring 4 arms and eyes to entertain and care for her. We’re laying in bed with no other distractions, no chores and deadlines and pinging emails. It’s our moment of peace together that we used to get after dinner when we snuggled on the couch or walked around the neighborhood.

Our moments of pillow talk take on the importance of our evening chats, our walks to process our problems, our daily connection. Co-sleeping means sharing a bed in a whole new way, often diminishing a lot of the previous kind of bed sharing. The pillow talk doesn’t replace it all, but it gives us a daily love connection, a quiet, intimate moment to enjoy each other and unravel the day.

Our pillow talk time is an invaluable, unshakable and enjoyable. It’s serious business. It holds us together when the days make us feel separate. It keeps us focused and loving when we feel scattered and preoccupied. Our pillow talk moments are my favorite moments of our day.

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