I have been meaning to write a post about my work, since it’s how I spend a lot of my time – and even when I’m not getting work done, I’m thinking about what I have to do, stressing about what isn’t done yet, worrying about when I will have
tome time to make it all happen between naps and feedings and prepping dinner.
Right now I’m juggling 3 “jobs”. I write that in quotes because two of them are volunteer positions, but they are jobs that I take seriously nonetheless. Although I consider myself a volunteer, I don’t think of my positions as voluntary – they are essential to the organization, to my identity, to my sanity. Even though I often think I’ve bitten off more than I can even fit in my mouth, retaining some responsibilities to organizations I love, and having some connection to the outside world keeps me feeling some semblance of “normal”. The importance of my work and the value I add to organizations can be pretty central to my sense of accomplishment, and keeping that alive has also kept “pre-mama megan” alive.
My “real” job is with the Washington State PTA. My role with the PTA is as exhibitor manager for the upcoming state convention – I am coordinating the businesses who exhibit at the convention, and helping to market the opportunity to companies statewide and regionally.
For Moisture Festival, I coordinate the benefit shows. Each year 4 organizations are chosen to be beneficiaries of the proceeds of one Moisture Festival show. Some of these organizations put on their own show, such as the Seattle-based School of Acrobatics and New Circus Arts (let the record reflect that I once said I wanted to have babies just so that I could send them to SANCA) and the New Old Time Chautauqua.
Side note – don’t know what a Chautauqua is? Here’s a super-brief explanation…
And for Rain City Rock Camp for Girls, I sit on the Board of Directors and am the Development Director – all volunteer! We’ve just wrapped up a $10,000 campaign, and we’re moving on to bigger things for 2011.
Since I work at home, and since I have a new baby, all my work gets done during naptime and during those brief moments when the Pie is willing to play by herself.
But working from the living room, and needing to be able to work for only moments at a time, and needing to be able to be within arms-reach of the Pie, I don’t really have a desk or a good filing system to keep track of everything. And in addition to my “jobs”, I’m working toward a certification to become a postpartum doula and looking for a house. Oh boy. My saving grace is that I am an obsessive list-maker (that’s another post) – it’s the only thing that keeps me anywhere near organized. Case in point: here is my “desk”. This is embarrassing. It’s the end of the couch. It looks horrible. It’s practical for me right now, but I hate it. Any ideas about a super-easy (seriously – I mean as easy as a pile) workspace in the living room that doesn’t look like this? Rachel Anne & girls, I need your help here.
Anyhow, the stress aside, the impending doom of failure always knocking at my door, and the time it takes away from my full attention being on the Pie, it’s something I need right now. I feel guilty a lot of times that the Pie is hanging out, playing, learning new skills on her own while I clack away on the computer, or that instead of taking care of the house I am often frantically making phone calls and sending emails. But I’m not willing (yet) to give up on the person I used to be and what I used to do.
I guess I’m not willing to commit fully to being a stay-at-home mom and housewife. I need something more. I sometimes wish I didn’t but I do.
I hate the stress and the juggling, it makes everything seem so overwhelming. Add that to a new babe who just won’t sleep, and sometimes I don’t know what to do with myself.
But I really think that I also have some kind of weird need for that stress and over-committed lifestyle. If I wasn’t doing it with these projects I would surely start some other things to keep me way too busy and keep my mind firing on 47 different projects all at once.
Someone save me from myself.