Pockets on baby clothes: a rant.

I noticed that a lot of my Pie’s clothes have pockets. AWESOME! I thought. I won’t need a diaper bag anymore. My baby can schlep all her own stuff. So I went about collecting all the things that babies need when you’re out and about, or just hanging out at home, to stick them in pockets so I don’t have to carry a big bag anymore.

So here’s my list of things that I thought Baby should carry:

DSC_0194 Bulb syringe: does not fit.

DSC_0195 Diaper rash cream: does not fit.

DSC_0206Burp cloth: does not fit.

 DSC_0196Pacifier: does not fit.

DSC_0199 Sunglasses: actually almost fit.

DSC_0200 Baby wipe: does not fit.

DSC_0201 Extra pair of socks: does not fit.

DSC_0203 Diaper: does not fit.

DSC_0205 Sunblock: does not fit.

DSC_0207 Little toy: does not fit.

Seriously?? Why are there pockets on clothes, when those pockets are absolutely useless? As if it weren’t hard enough to get your baby to be responsible for keeping track of her own things. Babies suck at that.

So why do all these clothes have pockets? Is it for FASHION? What newborn cares what she looks like? They vomit on themselves and carry around their own waste in a special pouch made just for that purpose.

And you know what makes me really irate about this? I am PAYING for those pockets. Pockets=more fabric, more pattern components, more sewing. Pockets=more money. So I am paying a person to design these pocket pieces, then I am paying for the extra design component, the extra fabric, and another person to sew this useless flap onto my baby’s clothes. I have dozens of things with pockets – these were just the few things sitting in the basket of clothes waiting to be put away.

And you know who is really shitty at putting away their clothes?


So I am asking you, dear friends, to boycott baby pockets. If we stand together on this important issue, we can eliminate ineffective baby pockets on clothes.

Thank you.

*steps off soapbox*


  1. Hilarious! I feel the same way about baby clothes in general. All they really need is a burlap sack to wear.

  2. I'm glad that my plight brings you enjoyment. As long as the burlap sacks either have no pockets or useful pockets, they could work!

  3. come on, girlfriend, the pockets are for the vomit! (and/ or money..... babies make Mommy spends lots and lots of money, so a nice crispy Benjamin Franklin could easily be folded up tiny enough to fit in one of those pockets).
    Glad to help.
    Your friend, MOV
    ps--about the nap thing (another blog entry) check out the book "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer". That book was my Bible. Talks about how much having a loose schedule can calm baby and let baby know what to expect.

  4. Hey there MOV - I actually have that book, but I had to stop reading it because she sounded so condescending to me! Maybe I should pick it back up and try to look past her voice. The loose schedule is seeming to work, so far!

  5. And BTW, we have found vomit in some of those pockets! Now if I can only convince someone else to start stuffing Benjamins in there!

  6. on a related note.
    I hate the fake pockets on tux's, seriously there's already a fake pocket why not just add a real one? I find it very upsetting, baby pockets, well I don't know about them.

  7. yeah, I can see where tuxedo pockets would be frustrating - the same frustration I had with fake or tiny side-mounted pockets on maternity clothes!


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