11.11.2010

Goodbye

Grandma died this morning. It seemed peaceful & quick. Her breathing became shallower, and she started missing a few breaths every now and then. Within 15 minutes she was gone.

I think that my mom and her siblings made the right decision to let her go, to not prolong a life no longer lived. She could have been suffering every day, we had no way of knowing.

I don’t actually know all that much about my grandmother, most of my memory of her was after she had already lost most of her faculties. I remember playing games with her when I was young – but we didn’t see her very often. She lived in Milwaukee and then moved to Oklahoma to be with my aunt, and didn’t really travel. I remember her apartment in Milwaukee, but only the essence of it. It was kind of dark, but sunlight filtered into a few windows in low, soft lines. It was comfortable, but boring for an 8-year-old. We only went to see her a few times in Oklahoma before she came to live with us about 15 years ago. My little sisters probably have no memory of her before she wasn’t all there. I wonder if my brother does.

So we’re making plans for the funeral. I’m not excited about taking the Pie on a plane at 3 months old during cold season, and I’m not looking forward to the below-freezing temps. But Pie will be making her first trip to the land of my birth, the place her Oma & Great Grandmother both were married, the mysterious locale of cheese, beer and hot dishes. Maybe I’ll get some tater tot casserole.

3 comments:

  1. I'm sorry to hear this. My beloved grandfather (we named my son after him) and my grandmother (his wife) both died during my pregnancy. I flew three times pregnant for funerals and a visit. I wish I'd gotten to introduce them.

    But it's not like I was always in touch. It's hard with the generation gap, with family stuff, with distance. So we flew my son to Germany at 3 months (I know! Crazy!) to meet his paternal grandparents and great-grandparents because we knew how important and fleeting that time is.

    and reading on (no seriously, haven't I told you he nurses for an hour every time?)...

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  2. so nice that your babe got to be with his grandparents, and in Germany! I wish the Pie had gotten to meet my dad's parents, who I was close with. But I waited until I was older to have kids, as did my parents and my grandparents never got any great-grandkids.

    One-hour nursing sessions would make me insane! My Pie does like 10 minutes, at the most!

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  3. oh yes, insane's the word. just started one now!

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