Grandma died this morning. It seemed peaceful & quick. Her breathing became shallower, and she started missing a few breaths every now and then. Within 15 minutes she was gone.

I think that my mom and her siblings made the right decision to let her go, to not prolong a life no longer lived. She could have been suffering every day, we had no way of knowing.

I don’t actually know all that much about my grandmother, most of my memory of her was after she had already lost most of her faculties. I remember playing games with her when I was young – but we didn’t see her very often. She lived in Milwaukee and then moved to Oklahoma to be with my aunt, and didn’t really travel. I remember her apartment in Milwaukee, but only the essence of it. It was kind of dark, but sunlight filtered into a few windows in low, soft lines. It was comfortable, but boring for an 8-year-old. We only went to see her a few times in Oklahoma before she came to live with us about 15 years ago. My little sisters probably have no memory of her before she wasn’t all there. I wonder if my brother does.

So we’re making plans for the funeral. I’m not excited about taking the Pie on a plane at 3 months old during cold season, and I’m not looking forward to the below-freezing temps. But Pie will be making her first trip to the land of my birth, the place her Oma & Great Grandmother both were married, the mysterious locale of cheese, beer and hot dishes. Maybe I’ll get some tater tot casserole.


  1. I'm sorry to hear this. My beloved grandfather (we named my son after him) and my grandmother (his wife) both died during my pregnancy. I flew three times pregnant for funerals and a visit. I wish I'd gotten to introduce them.

    But it's not like I was always in touch. It's hard with the generation gap, with family stuff, with distance. So we flew my son to Germany at 3 months (I know! Crazy!) to meet his paternal grandparents and great-grandparents because we knew how important and fleeting that time is.

    and reading on (no seriously, haven't I told you he nurses for an hour every time?)...

  2. so nice that your babe got to be with his grandparents, and in Germany! I wish the Pie had gotten to meet my dad's parents, who I was close with. But I waited until I was older to have kids, as did my parents and my grandparents never got any great-grandkids.

    One-hour nursing sessions would make me insane! My Pie does like 10 minutes, at the most!

  3. oh yes, insane's the word. just started one now!


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